Dear Gabby,
Right now you've got opinions flying at you from all directions... For the most part, they're coming from a bunch of jealous, empty broads who would trade their left titty to be you any day of the week. And while they are having a field day laughing at your pain, their lights are about to get cut off (in the duplex they share with their mama and four kids)....bottom line, these broads and their thoughts are irrelevant...
But all of us black women aren't like them, Gabby. Some of us have been quietly cheering you on, for years... Praying for the beautiful black girl that you are to win. Like the Obama effect, if you could be the happy wife of a successful black man, maybe one day, so could we... But if this is your definition of winning, we need to evaluate what the prize truly is. If its handsome family that only looks great on Christmas cards, a gaudy, "Vanessa Bryant" ring, and a big, beautiful home, filled with lies and deceit, I ask that you reconsider.
I remember when we met during the summer of 2007 in Vegas, we had this exact same conversation ... about how black men, particularly black successful/celebrity men, treated black women. Even then, when I was barely 21 years old I had accused them of treason against the black women. But you came to their defense... (You even stood up for TMac...) Fast forward, seven years later and you're still standing up for the succesful black male celebrity/athlete. Are we so happy to see him with a "sista" and not a "Becky", that we'll give him a "get out of jail" free pass for all of his egregious behavior???
Honestly Gabby, Wade's blatant disrespect for you isn't what hurts and shocks us at all. What has your sincere supporters sick to our stomachs is, your tolerance for it... We all know for fact, that if after you returned from your "break" with Wade, you came back 9 months pregnant by a man who wasn't even alive anymore, Wade would NOT have wife'd you. He'd have swiftly kicked you to the curb, if the Adidas was on the other foot.
Why would you tolerate such a blatant slap in the face of disrespect... Do you believe Wade is the best you can do? If this is as good as it gets, then by all means stay. If at 41 years old you can't get another attractive, successful man without resorting to the ways of Ms. Lozada, then fine. If there is an unknown benefit you get from this union (a la, millions in a well brokered business deal ... think Hillary Clinton 15 years ago), then I'll have an American Airlines arena of seats... But unlike many of the bums sitting home laughing at you, you have it going on. You are successful in your own right. So again, why stay?
Many have suggested that it would be foolish to leave such a wealthy, successful man, only to settle for someone who makes less money, has less celebrity and who in a matter of time will cheat too.. I'm not suggesting you take any old Reggie* (regular dudes making $100,000 a year) I get it.. Jay-Z was right, when you've had filet mignon, it is hard to go back to hamburger helper ... But surely there is someone else who isn't blatantly disrespectful, and willing to add insult to injury by letting his EXTRMELY out-of-pocket side-chick talk trash to you in public forums! It's like Wade doesn't even give a damn.
And you can't be mad at the nameless side chick. It's not her that is deserving of reprimand. She is only doing what Wade allowed her to do, with the platform he to gave her. If he had respect for you, he still might cheat, but he would have been way more careful. He certainly would not let his jumps* enter the house and sleep in the bed you two shared. The mere fact that the pictures were there for him to hide meant that it wasn't over between you. Your stuff was still in the bedroom! He took action without regard for how it might impact his future dealings with you. Was he just being young and reckless? Nah!...Wade treated you inconsequential, because he knew he could. In fact, every letter, tweet, email and text from his side-chick is actually signed "Wade". He gave her the ammunition to write every statement she's making.
You deserve better doll. I don't know what that looks like, but find it. Maybe call Janet and see if she knows any more sheiks with oil money... Mellody Hobson just conceived with George "Star Wars 1 through 45" Lucas! Surely she can provide some insight on dating men of quality. But this here, is for the birds. Is this as good as it gets for you, and other successful black women in 2014??? No my love, it isn't. Why are you paying the high price of utter public humiliation, to be with this multi-millionaire athlete who feels you can be bought and sold for $1 Million. That might be a high number to some, but it shouldn't be for you. You are deserving of love, honor and respect. Right now you are getting none of the above.
I remember when you and I met... You were mad cool. I told you I was in law school, and you invited me to I attend a party to meet a well known and very successful actor/writer/philanthropist. When I met him, he invited me back to a hotel room with his girl at the time.. I was insulted... I wasn't hardly going to be anyone's second fiddle or jump ... Even at 21, I knew I deserved more.... But why don't you know that now? I want you to not need the validation of marriage to be happy. I understand being in the public eye can be a shark tank, but what you're being offered is a very shitty deal, and I want you and the rest of black women to get more than a BS, cover relationship with a gaudy ring in 2014. I want us to give and receive love fully. It is going to take all the courage you have, but please don't let this man piss on your head and tell you its raining.
Peace and blessings,
LegallyChocolate
