When one turns on the television, images of destructive black women crowd the screen, save Iyanla, Oprah, Michelle O, "Black Girls Rock" and a few others. There are only a handful of places where you can regularly tune in and see black women lifting up one another.
Recently, Gabrielle Union stood before an audience of Hollywood's elite at the 2013 Black Women in Hollywood Luncheon and confessed that she had been a "mean girl" to her fellow black actresses. Gabrielle shared that she bought into the fiercely competitive nature of Hollywood, even more so between black actresses. She recounted how she had become a ringleader of the mudslinging and stocking ripping, reveling in the failures and downfalls of her sisters. Overwhelmingly, black women have been sold a lie of the "few opportunities" for them to advance their careers as actresses. Thus, the competition amongst them is multiplied and magnified. This story replicates itself all over the world, on Wall Street, on Capitol Hill, in the lofty elite clubs of corporate America. Black women are miseducated to believe that the spaces for their kind are limited, so like children playing musical chairs, they clamor, fight, and trip one another, for these few golden opportunities.
The truth is, there is no shortage of opportunities for black women, black men or anyone else. We can have whatever we can create. We were created in the image of a creator, so that makes us creators. God is abundance and in Him there is no lack or shortage. But when we allow our minds to operate in the realm of competition, of limitations, of lack, we are thrust into a zero-sum game against others who have the same goals; work becomes a real live version of the Hunger Games. One of the best philosophers to describe this match was Thucydides who declared, "the strong do what they can and the weak suffer what they must." Black women rarely go after their equals--other black women in power-- they usually set their sights on a much smaller prey. Often times the younger woman is caught of guard and unprepared for the unfair fight.
One might expect that this sort of competition is directed at those who are perceived to be on the same planes, women in the same category, managment level, tax bracket, and status. But the truth is, the shade, the competition and the destruction usually comes from older black women who use their tongue to lash out against younger black women whom they see as threats. After all, insecurity has no age limit, no rhyme or reason. Further, it may be difficult for these Crusty Crabs to watch someone who they feel has not "paid their dues", set to receive the promotion, attention, elevation or accolades, that they feels were rightly due to them.
So they hate. As Gabby confessed to doing, and as many others have silently done they spew vitriol at other black women climbing the ladder behind them. With all the shade of Meryl Streep in the Devil Wears Prada, when her faithful Nigel was set to receive promotion... (Miranda Priestly pulled the rug from underneath him in underhanded, back-room whispered negotiations)... these black-hearted women throw stones and hide their hands. Destructing others make these bitter broads cheer with glee. Their faces smile at their plundering ploys, but underneath, the misery does not dissipate nor wane. Just as life coach, A.J. Johnson, asked Gabrielle after her admitted hour-long tirade of tearing down another Hollywood actress, "what has been gained?"
Does tearing down the career, accomplishments, successes, progress, of another black woman make you more beautiful? Does it make your body less overweight? Does it make your muffin top less protrusive? Does it make your breast less saggy? Does it remove the bags under your eyes or the wrinkles and crow lines from your face? Does it make you suddenly more attractive to men who'd long ago lost their interest in you? Does it make you a millionaire and not just a paid government staffer? Does it make you more charming and your smile more magnetic? Does it remove your cankles so that your legs look less like shrubbery? Does it make your skin smoother and taut, teeth straighter, lips more sensuous, breast more perky, hips less box-shaped, and stomach flatter??? All to which heaven responds with a resounding NO. Unfortunately, the misery these wretches attempt to wrought will only serve as a stepping stone for the woman they've attacked to have more success, more happiness, make more money, and receive more blessings.
Why? As it was written, "I will make thy enemies thy footstool."
Maybe the great lesson of Black History Month is this, when you want to know why a man or woman has been successful, you only need to look at who their enemies are. Martin Luther King, Jr.'s enemies were a country full of hate-mongers that catapulted him into the cannons of history books of the future forever. In simple, it is a measure of the footstools that we step over who will define our own greatness. If that's the case, cheers to my footstools.
Signed,
Blessed
